Today as I was standing by the kindergarten line (not to close and not to far away) waiting for Wesley and his class to go inside, I was enjoying the conversations going on in line...
It started with one boy singing, "happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, you look like a butt and you smell like one too"
at which point, another boy (proudly) whispered to the girl he was standing next to, "you know what I do when my butt itches? I get some toilet paper and get it really wet, then I squeeze it out and wipe."
(luckily) the teacher came out and welcomed the kids and another boy quickly yells (with more excitement than should be possible at 8 a.m.) "I brushed my teeth today!!!"
which reminded me that Wesley is mad at his teacher.
They have a "lost tooth" chart in their classroom and he hasn't made the chart (my kids are late walkers and late tooth losers - but early diet soda drinkers). He has a loose tooth - but it is only loose because it is dead - and it is only dead because of my brother
(not the diet coke - we use a straw so it won't effect our teeth)
or rather, my brother's wall
(I hold a grudge against my brother because he has caused 2 of my kids to knock their front tooth so hard that it has killed it and turned it gray until it has fallen out - once with his head and the other time with his wall). Wesley has been trying to wiggle this (somewhat) loose tooth for awhile and he doesn't understand why his teacher won't put his name on the chart. He complains to me, "mom, I told my teacher I have a "loost" tooth and she still won't put my name on the "loost" tooth chart". I have explained to him (many many times) that it is a "lost" tooth chart and your tooth is just "loose" and it needs to come out first. His response (every time!) is, "it's not fair" - and my (motherly) response to that is, "life's not fair" - just like it wasn't fair that that little girl had to stand in line next to the kid with the itchy butt!
It started with one boy singing, "happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, you look like a butt and you smell like one too"
at which point, another boy (proudly) whispered to the girl he was standing next to, "you know what I do when my butt itches? I get some toilet paper and get it really wet, then I squeeze it out and wipe."
(luckily) the teacher came out and welcomed the kids and another boy quickly yells (with more excitement than should be possible at 8 a.m.) "I brushed my teeth today!!!"
which reminded me that Wesley is mad at his teacher.
They have a "lost tooth" chart in their classroom and he hasn't made the chart (my kids are late walkers and late tooth losers - but early diet soda drinkers). He has a loose tooth - but it is only loose because it is dead - and it is only dead because of my brother
(not the diet coke - we use a straw so it won't effect our teeth)
or rather, my brother's wall
(I hold a grudge against my brother because he has caused 2 of my kids to knock their front tooth so hard that it has killed it and turned it gray until it has fallen out - once with his head and the other time with his wall). Wesley has been trying to wiggle this (somewhat) loose tooth for awhile and he doesn't understand why his teacher won't put his name on the chart. He complains to me, "mom, I told my teacher I have a "loost" tooth and she still won't put my name on the "loost" tooth chart". I have explained to him (many many times) that it is a "lost" tooth chart and your tooth is just "loose" and it needs to come out first. His response (every time!) is, "it's not fair" - and my (motherly) response to that is, "life's not fair" - just like it wasn't fair that that little girl had to stand in line next to the kid with the itchy butt!
24 comments:
you brightened my day!
i feel for Wesley and the poor girl in line!
Wow, what an interesting class!
UGH! see? our torture begins in kindergarten!
whenever my sister in law's nieces tell me how unfair life is (they are 3 and 5), i respond "try being 31 and single."
it seems to shut them up.
Pure torture. Kids are relentless. Isn't it Danny that's good at getting them out with dental floss? Have Wesley give him a call! When did you "brother" do these things? I don't remember these stories.
I remember feeling like Wesley...I didn't lose my first tooth until I was in 3rd grade and that is only because the dentist pulled it. I hated being the only kid in my 1st grade class that didn't make the chart. To this day, I SWEAR that if I ever teach lower grades, I will NEVER have the tooth chart in my room!
As for the conversations you heard, be glad they weren't my fifth graders!! Nothing shocks me anymore! SAD!
Wesley could be like my Caroline, she lost a front tooth back in 2006 after she took a ride down a slanted driveway on an office chair and knocked it out. Of course now I get to hear her complain about the big tooth not coming in yet....
And I totally feel for that little girl in line, that was hilarious!
No need to say, kids say the darnest things! And they are all pretty gross at times! I'll keep my fingers crossed for that tooth to come out soon!
I am so sorry about Wesley's mouth! I didn't know! Tell Wesley that Aidan has only lost one tooth and there aren't really any more loose ones right now. He didn't get to put anything on his tooth chart in kindergarten because he lost it in first grade AND swallowed it (we are pretty sure) so we don't even have a tooth to show people. And Aidan is almost in second grade!
Oh my gosh is there anything funnier than listening to the kids at school....especially the one who writes the letter to her dad and tells him to stop fighting with her mom and....hey wait, that was my kid. That kid isn't so funny!
Poor Wesley! If it makes him feel any better, Paige hasn't signed the tooth chart in her class either. However, she has lost two teeth, they were just in preschool and don't count. I always laugh at "itchy butts". My sister-in-law teaches 6th grade and she once had a student come up to her and say, "Mrs. Page...my butt itches", to which she replied, "Then scratch it!" I'll have to tell her about the toilet paper.
The funny thing about that conversation is that they were absolutely serious. Good luck with the tooth.
I have mixed feelings about the lost tooth chart in K-garten. Those poor kids who don't lose a tooth that year feel so left out. Cooper's always telling me about his loose teeth (of which he has none). They are dying get bigger all the time. I wish sometimes they'd just stay little forever.
Sometimes you hear way more than you want! I feel bad for Wesley when there's nothing he can do to get on that chart! I remember that awful fall at Mike's, but I never knew that Wesley's tooth died from that. Seems like a "dead" tooth should be as good as a "lost" tooth.
That was funny!!
Thought I'd drop in to say hello while I was strolling the blogosphere!
hahaha!!! I'm wiping the tears of laughter away on the itchy butt. I think because I tried that trick as a kid.
So THAT'S how you cure an itchy butt!
Your are a wise, wise woman, Dede. Teach your children well. Life is indeed not fair. It is important that our children learn this lesson early on.
I try to pass on this important piece of knowledge each and everyday to my own kids.
-Francesca
Well, why doesn't he ask his teacher to put his name on the "Fat Lip" chart instead? Looks like Mike's wall won THAT battle...
Ha....Ha....
I'm still laughing!
Im dying! I always want to remember these 5 year old conversations-today I was informed that Dr, Suess would be 105 if he was still on this earth. Don't you love gray teeth?!?
Dede...seriously If I sign on to your page and see "fly on the wall" one more time, I am going to hold annie hostage
hahahahaha your stories are the greatest!!! You make me laugh even when my day has been very hard!!! There is why I love visiting your blog!!!
you are FUNNY! Emma has a dead tooth, too. She and daddy were playing and she bit the dust-- hard.
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